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Twitter has died at the age of 14.

Twitter will be remembered as a vibrant, ambitious youth who hosted hundreds of millions of followers before it was viciously murdered by a villain who goes by many names, such as Phony Stark, Lex Loser and Apartheid Vader—but most people refer to him as Elon.

Twitter is survived by its older and younger siblings, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. (Parler and Truth Social were barred from attending the funeral for the same reason liberal white people won’t invite their racist uncles to Thanksgiving dinner this year.)

R.I.P. Twitter. May Smart Phone Jesus forever hold you in his light. Amen.

OK, so Twitter is not dead, but the platform has seen a recent “mass exodus” of employees after Elon Musk issued his “hardcore” ultimatum for staff to get behind his “Twitter 2.0” initiative or get out.

From CNN:

On the platform Thursday evening, where #RIPTwitter was the top trend worldwide, users wrote what they feared might be their last posts, offering apprehensive goodbyes and listing the other (more stable) social media platforms where they can still be found.

They were reacting to the dire news emanating from inside Twitter. Scores of remaining employees at the social media company on Thursday appeared to reject owner Elon Musk’s ultimatum to work “extremely hardcore,” throwing the communications platform into utter disarray and raising serious questions about how much longer it will survive.

Inside the company’s Slack, a mass resignation effectively occurred after Musk’s 5pm deadline for employees to arrive at a decision passed. Hundreds of staffers appear to have called it quits, accepting Musk’s offer to exit in exchange for three months of severance.

Source: Black Twitter Hilariously Mourns Death Of Elon Musk’s Twitter After ‘Mass Exodus’ Of Employees